library-failure-day-78.html
1018 OCTOBER
79 / 108
raising resilient, motivated
kids
who bounce back from failure isn?t easy, but it?s possible, with these expert strategies: ? check yourself. in order to let
kids
fail, parents may need to get over their own fear of being judged for failing. yes, you might send your child to school without a jacket on a cold day, but your child?s long-term emotional resilience is worth a few disapproving glances. (and he will likely remember his jacket next time he goes to school). ? acknowledge your own failures. when parents strive for perfection themselves, children pick up on their anxiety. teach your kiddos that
mistakes
happen, but you can learn from them and move on. ? prioritize connection. when we show
kids
that
mistakes
are okay, they learn that they don?t live on a flat world; even if they fail, there?s no way to fall off,
says
kent hoffman, psychologist. after a slip-up, prioritize reconnecting and repairing the relationship. ?the more our children can trust in our commitment to them, the more they can trust that
mistakes
are part of being loved,? hoffman
says
. ? emphasize effort. encourage motivation and creativity by breaking out of the habit of rewarding results. instead of ?no screen time until you?ve fixed the
mistakes
on that worksheet,? try, ?give that homework your best effort for 45 minutes, and then we?ll take a break.? ? focus on your long-term parenting goals. parenting is a long-haul job. ?stop being so stressed out and anxious about this homework assignment, this soccer game,?
says
jessica lahey, new york times bestselling author. ?sometimes difficult decisions about approaching failure are easier if you think in terms of long-term goals of competence and learning.? ? ? ? ? ? o c t o b e r 2 0 1 8 | b r p a r e n t s . c o m 7 9
failure-learning-experience-80.html