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2 3 1 a s a veteran teacher, i?ve been asked many questions about how to teach
children
over the years, and only once have i been a bit stumped. the mother asked me, ?how do you teach
respect
?? a?er a moment?s thought, my response was, ?every single day.?
respect
ful behaviors are affected by so many variables, such as culture, age, and background.
children
are not born with an inherent knowledge of how to be
respect
ful in different situations, so they must be taught the right ways to interact with others. set clear, reasonable
expectations
no one likes playing a game when the rules are constantly changing. as parents, we must set our
expectations
for
respect
ful behavior and enforce the
expectations
consistently and persistently. we must set clear
expectations
for speaking with adults versus peers, using manners, swearing, attitude, yelling, talking-back, and using words such as ?thank you? and ?you?re welcome.? in two-parent households, both caregivers must be on the same page in regards to the
expectations
for
respect
ful behavior. you know your child better than anyone, so set your
expectations
accordingly. set your child up for success by avoiding situations that are likely to provoke dis
respect
ful behaviors. if you know that large crowds upset your child, don?t plan a massive birthday party. if loud noises make your child anxious, wait a few years before taking him to a concert. remind your
children
of their
expectations
before they have the chance to fail. before i take my girls out to dinner, i always ask them the
expectations
before we get out of the car. i used to carry this load, but the girls have taken this responsibility on themselves. allowing them to take ownership of their
expectations
shows that i believe in and trust them, and they are more willing to follow their own rules. practice patience the old adage ?practice makes perfect? cannot be applied to teaching
respect
. practice rarely makes perfect, and teaching
respect
is no exception.
children
are constantly encountering new experiences and will need guidance to navigate them with proper
respect
. becoming irritated, even when you?ve reminded them to close the door gently or say ?please? one million times, is counter-productive to the lesson. think of it as an opportunity to model
respect
in the form of patience. model
respect
while we are debunking ancient adages, let?s talk about, ?do as i say, not as i do.? simply telling
children
what to do will not work when teaching
respect
, or much else for that matter. modeling is a teaching technique in which you show your child what you?d like him to do. your
children
need to hear you using kind words, such as ?please? and ?thank you.? child therapist tara dixon at heal your life counseling shares, ??i?m sorry? is a phrase that
children
need to hear adults using in order to internalize the importance of the sentiment. o?en,
children
associate having to say that they are sorry with feelings of guilt and shame. this can lead a child to want to stand his ground, even if he really does feel sorry for his actions. hearing their trusted adults apologize can be very impactful for
children
.?
children
listen to much more than we sometimes give them credit for, and they are listening to us when we complain about being cut off in traffic, the line at the grocery store taking too long, and the relative who drives us nuts. choose your words carefully, as they will become the words that your
children
use. remember that even when you are correcting your child?s behavior, by jannean dixon, m.ed. teaching
children
respect
2017-18 cover kid august s. 4 0 b r p a r e n t s . c o m | j u l y 2 0 1 8
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