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by madeline rathle connect / l o c a l p r o f i l e when jill rigby
garner
?s twin boys were in elementary school, she noticed parents were concerned about a lack of basic
manners
in the cafeteria. she began going to lunch, armed with red paper napkins and silly puppets with spaghetti-filled mouths, to teach the children basic table
manners
, how to write thank-you notes, and how to have respect for one another. ?e school saw a noticeable difference in the children?s behavior, especially on field trips, where they would often receive compliments and praise from the people hosting them. members of the community often called upon
garner
to speak to boy scout troops, clubs, and students. ?en,
garner
?s life turned upside down. her husband left her and her sons, and she decided her interior design job was not right for her. she wanted to pursue something more suited to her life. ?during this time, i was searching for what i was put on this earth to do,?
garner
says. ?one day, i was in albertson?s grocery store, and i opened a magazine. it said, ?where have the
manners
gone?? ?ere it was, as big as can be. i knew this is what i was supposed to do.? she spent the next year and a half putting together a curriculum, which she printed and copied at kinko?s, and then launched at an education conference in new orleans.
garner
?s passion for instilling kindness, respect, and good
manners
in children has steadily grown into the nonprofit organization,
manners
of the
heart
, which produces a curriculum used in elementary schools across the country, works with high school students through the leaders by example program, and encourages families through books, parenting workshops, and community efforts. teachers can access the
manners
of the
heart
curriculum and teach it in the classroom. some schools have guidance counselors teach core lessons while teachers provide reinforcement, but however schools decide to utilize it, it is a five-day-a-week program.
garner
says she sees the greatest outcomes when it is given just as much importance as academics. ?e organization tries to liven the message and make more of an impact by sending their mascot, wilbur, to schools and having cookie parties for the children. ?i love to see the light bulbs go off,?
garner
says. ?a second grade boy one time said, ?i got it, ms. hill,? and pointed to his
heart
. ?what?s in my
heart
is going to come out of my mouth.? ?at?s the whole thing. our foundational principle is that it?s the content of the
heart
that determines the actions.? ?e idea of esteeming others instead of yourself has made a positive impact on students, according to a research study conducted by southeastern louisiana university. in the 2013-14 school year, schools who used the
manners
of the
heart
curriculum saw a 30 percent decrease in disciplinary issues and raised their school?s letter grade from either an f to a d or a d to a c. a school in oklahoma decreased their disciplinary referrals by 58 percent, an impressive improvement. while
garner
has sometimes worried that the organization would not make it, there would always be a breakthrough
manners
of the
heart
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