teasing-bullying-kids-24.html
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to cry? ...oh, you were playing, maybe reece was playing too!? mills
says
, ?it'll take several attempts. it's not an overnight process.? when
teasing
morphs into bullying. of course, youngsters also need to recognize when
teasing
isn?t playful. ?if it hurts emotionally, socially, or physically, it's not funny,?
says
deb woodard, licensed professional counselor and certified school counselor. ?if persistent, it can become what is formally identified as bullying.? point out body language and verbal signals that indicate that the target of the tease isn't happy. ?you can usually tell if it is
teasing
/joking by the other kid?s response. ?ere is definite body language that shows if a kid is okay with the
teasing
or if it has crossed the line. bullying is when picking on or making fun of becomes constant and unwanted. most times, it comes with one student who has more ?
power
? picking on a student who cannot defend themselves,? ott
says
. role-model, role-play and discuss situations as they arise. and respect your child's personal boundaries if he doesn't want to be teased about something?even if it starts out playfully. ?even children who are too young to identify and express hurt feelings verbally, may cry or physically push away those who think they mean well,? woodard
says
. build resilience. arm your child with skills to assertively manage put downs. author and educational psychologist michele borba suggests firm statements like: ?i want
teasing
is ok ay when: ? both parties are laughing, smiling and joking with each other. ? both individuals sense that the
teasing
is playful and not meant to be hurtful. ? the person being teased responds in a playful way, which increases his or her like-ability in the group. ? there's a balance of
power
in the relationship.
teasing
should stop immediately when: ? facial expressions convey that the other person is feeling hurt by the comments. ? taunting or cruel name- calling is used. (epithets related to race, weight, sexual orientation, ethnicity, religion and disability are unacceptable.) ? comments are derogatory in nature, insulting and mean- spirited. ? the teaser shows disdain and dislike for the other person. ? there?s a
power
difference between the individuals. for example, one is the ?popular? kid and the other is struggling in the social setting. you to stop
teasing
me? or ?why would you say that?? if
teasing
continues, raise the possibility with your youngster that the remarks may not really be about them, but about the teaser. ?kids tease because they?re playing with words (rhyming), exploring new ideas (boyfriend/girlfriend), pointing out differences (height, hair color, glasses, etc.) or to exert peer pressure,? mills
says
. while teaching kids to stand up for themselves and confidently express their feelings builds resilience, encourage them to immediately seek a trusted, safe adult if they ever feel scared or threatened. ott adds, ?i like to focus on helping the victims by showing them they have a voice and have
power
over their bullies by stepping up and coming to me or a teacher or administrator.? ? additional resources: raising an emotionally intelligent child by john gottman masterminds & wingmen: helping our boys cope with schoolyard
power
, locker- room tests, girlfriends, and the new rules of the boy world by rosalind wiseman queen bees & wannabes: helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends, and the new realities of girl world by rosalind wiseman unselfie: why empathetic kids succeed in our all-about-me world by michele borba, ed.d. o c t o b e r 2 0 1 7 | b r p a r e n t s . c o m 2 5
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