child-parent-drone-48.html
0317 MARCH
49 / 104
moreau, lpc. while real threats exist for
child
ren online,
parents
can find a healthy way to know what?s happening in their kid?s life without turning into big brother. for social media,
parents
and their young
child
ren should come to an agreement. ?e
child
writes down all username and password info for his accounts and puts them in a sealed envelope. ?e envelope stays in a common area of the home, and the
parents
agree to only open the envelope in case of an emergency. ?is should lessen parental fear without the
child
feeling smothered. why do ?ey hover? being a
drone
mom?or dad?may be born from a desire to do what?s best for your
child
, but according to moreau, more harm than good comes from this parenting style. ?
drone
parents
may fear the
child
doing wrong things that could embarrass them.? hall adds that ?the desire to protect your
child
is a natural instinct in parenting, yet overprotecting can rob them of valuable opportunities to learn how to overcome adversity and what healing from pain looks like.? it?s a natural instinct to want to shelter the ones we love from pain and hardship, but learning how to deal with negative feelings, situations, and consequences is necessary to raise a well-adjusted adult. when
parents
hover over their
child
?s every decision, the
child
loses the precious chance to learn independence and resiliency. ?
parents
become overprotective often because of their own anxiety of what their
child
will experience due to consequences or pain,? hall adds. in addition to shielding
child
ren from the realities of life,
drone
parents
also hover out of fear of being replaced. as moreau notes, ?
drone
parents
fear losing their
child
to peers.?
child
ren of all ages need to have friends in their own age group. when
parents
act like friends to their
child
ren, they may find that their
child
acts out in rebellion to the perceived smothering; they may even suffer difficulty in developing their own identity. black hawk down maybe after reading this, you?re starting to worry that your protective instinct as a parent has tread into inappropriate intervention in your
child
?s life. what do you do now? moreau implores you to ?release the
child
! let the
child
make mistakes and suffer natural consequences. if the parent has a say in every decision a
child
makes, the
child
cannot grow.? and that really is what all of us want for our
child
ren?for them to grow into productive adults capable of dealing with anything life throws their way. we just need to give them the opportunity to practice doing so.
parents
can also take a timeout when they feel the need to intervene. if you?re tempted to call little suzie?s mom because she didn?t want to play with your little jane at recess, ask yourself if your intervention is to support your
child
through an uncomfortable life lesson or rather to soothe your own apprehension with unpleasant emotions.
parents
will do everyone a service if they can accept that their desire to intervene is often an attempt to calm their own anxiety. hall notes that learning how to handle disappointment is far more important than learning how to avoid it. ?
parents
have a precious small window to be involved in the development of their
child
. it is important that we not only protect our kids from certain dangers but also that we show them how to overcome adversities in this world. pain is going to be a part of their lives, and it?s better for them to start dealing with this pain while you are still in a position to guide them through it.? ? a r e y o u a d r o n e p a r e n t ? 1. your son is a freshman in college. how often do you call to check in? a. weekly b. a few times a week c. daily 2. your daughter comes home from middle school and tells you that she wasn?t invited to a friend?s sleepover. what do you do? a. ask her about how being excluded makes her feel b. tell her, ?that?s life!? c. call the friend?s mother to discuss the situation 3. your teenage son is sick and can?t make it to practice after school. what?s your course of action? a. have your son contact the coach and notify him of his absence b. tell your son he?s going to practice anyway c. call the coach yourself to let them know your son can?t make it and to please excuse him 4. your sixth grader has a science project due tomorrow. it?s not done, and you know she?ll get a poor grade on it. besides, she needs sleep! what do you do? a. help her work on the project until bedtime b. let her suffer the consequences of waiting until the last minute c. let her get her sleep and stay up finishing the project to make sure she gets an a 5. your six-year-old is hungry, but it?s not dinner time. what?s your solution? a. tell her to tough it out until dinner time b. tell her to fix herself a snack c. fix a snack for her quiz: are you a
drone
parent? worried that your interventions are going a bit too far? take this quick quiz to see if you might be a
drone
parent. take a look at your responses. if you answered ?c? to three or more of these questions, you may want to examine your parenting behaviors further to determine if you?re a
drone
parent. a r e y o u a d r o n e p a r e n t ? illustration by masha klot march 2017 | br
parents
.com 49
love-unconditional-children-50.html