little-quiet-door-28.html
0919 September
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activity like reading, drawing, or playing.
once
i discover this little moment of peace, relief surges through me. because let?s be honest, i expected
much
worse. as
much
as i want the quiet though,
once
i get that reprieve of a silent house, it?s not very long before i am anxious for them to come home and fill it up with chaos again. this summer, i had to go out of town for a work trip. i was alone in a hotel room for three days. initially, i felt so indulgent and giddy. i could make my own choices. i could watch hgtv by myself. i
didn
?t have to correct anyone. i
didn
?t have to break up any fights. i may have actually done a mini-dance for my silent sojourn. i don?t think i used my voice for like 12 whole hours. on the other hand, i
didn
?t sleep well, and by the next day, i was asking my husband to bring our kiddos up to visit for the night. the minute they arrived the following afternoon, the incessant noise began again. the asking, oh, the asking. ?can we do this?? ?can i eat that?? ?can you come here?? ?can i have that?? the questions were rapid fire. the name calling surged here and there. the random comments popped around the room constantly. yet, here?s the truth: i slept better. even though i was being emptied out while my ears were being filled up, i felt more at ease. reader, i am not a superstar mom. so, if you?re rolling your eyes right about now at my disclosure, just know i mess up all the time. i yell. i hide. i lose my patience. i don?t always use a ?kind tone.? but i need my boys. i am connected to them. their voices are a part of me. as
much
as their voices can sometimes get under my skin, i crave them. when their unique sounds aren?t bouncing off the walls of our house or my car, i miss them. the absence of noise is the elusive oasis we search for in the parenting wilderness, and
once
we find it, we are in disbelief that it actually exists. but for me, the oasis has a timer. i relish the peace and quiet, but after some time, i am ready for the loudness again. some days though, you may still find me locked in my bathroom with a book, smuggling my quiet minute by minute. ? s e p t e m b e r 2 0 1 9 | b r p a r e n t s . c o m 2 9
grg-help-kathy-30.html