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an assessment of your own self-care to figure it out. ?in terms of self-regulation, we
need
to take care of ourselves in order to be there for our children,? todd
says
. ?there?s no cheating on that. as adults, we forget that we have already learned coping mechanisms. we all have our own witching hours, but we have developed coping mechanisms to combat it. kids haven?t yet, so we have to become their coping mechanisms, depending on how old they are.? the age of your child deeply depends on his or her ability to self-regulate. with very little ones, you, the parent,
need
to provide that outside discipline and make it a teachable moment so they can begin to fully understand self-regulation. ?when the child is having a fit, we have to remain calm and provide that outside self-regulation so we can help them learn to regulate themselves,? todd
says
. ?this might mean giving them a snack when they?re ?hangry,? insisting on a nap, or telling them to go to their room. we have to provide that for them and in turn, stay calm ourselves.? thankfully, with teenagers, self- regulation mechanisms have, or are beginning to, fully develop. in turn, conversations can be held that might provide valuable feedback. ?you can tell a teenager ?look, i don?t
need
this right now,? but you can?t tell that to a four year old,? todd
says
. ?to that end, your teenager may be able to tell you they
need
time when they get home to relax in their room. they may be right. you can get some buy in from other
household
members, simply by having the discussion.? gresham
says
if it comes to your sanity or theirs, remind yourself that the witching hour is temporary. ?the meme you see of someone?s phone with the alarm clock time set every few minutes could?ve been taken directly from my personal phone,? she
says
. ?however, it?s important that we remind ourselves that while we?re tired and wanting some ?peace of time? as my son calls it, each day is not a means to an end. we signed up for this full life that is just that?full of life.? ? tips for a single parent or transitional
household
the witching hour may be magnified during a transition from one
household
to the next, or when a parent is battling the hour solo. here are some fast tips to keep you and your family organized and on track. ? transitions between
household
s can be dramatic for children. they may
need
down time to themselves before they can re-engage with the
household
they?ve come into, known as ?the receiving
household
.? ? don?t start peppering them with questions about what they did in the previous
household
. give them a warming up period and know they
need
time to readjust. ? during transitions, children may act out or be fussy or defiant, but it is important to remember that this is not a reflection of the other parent. it is a reflection of the child?s emotional nature. ? children don?t have the ability to self-regulate yet. turn the ?witching hour? into a teachable moment of self-regulation whenever possible. ? gresham recommends utilizing technology. ?use an organization system. they make the framework of the day visible, while providing reassurance, a sense of control, and individual responsibility,? she
says
. ? take advantage of grocery delivery services, meal kits, and other apps that can help make parenting life easier. it?s not a cop-out or laziness?it?s productive. ? encourage older sibling assistance. if one child is old enough, rely on them to self-regulate themselves, then get their help with the dishes, laundry, supper, and even teaching their little brothers? or sisters? self- regulation techniques. ? create a routine. ?routines are important because they set the standard and decrease anxieties of each day. in turn, individual stress is decreased and the value of the family working together is reinforced,?
says
gresham. m a r c h 2 0 1 9 | b r p a r e n t s . c o m 7 3
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