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internalizing, addiction, blaming others for their own shortcomings, and
child
ren who are reluctant to take risks due to the overwhelming fear of failure. teachers, as well as therapists, are seeing the ramifications of lawnmower
parent
ing. ?struggle is necessary for learning to take place,? shares teacher and mother, layla d. ?when we learn new things, it?s uncomfortable, it?s challenging, it?s frustrating, and sometimes just not fun.
parent
s
never want to see their
child
ren struggle; however, by eliminating moments of struggle for their
child
ren,
parent
s are handicapping them. by the time their
child
ren reach adulthood, they are often unable to function without the support they?ve received their entire lives. they?re unable to own their mistakes and struggle with being productive. a former principal once said to ?never give a
child
a crutch he or she doesn?t need.? yes, there are times when students need support, but simply providing support before the student has even experienced some struggle is in no way beneficial to that
child
.? and now,
parent
s have even more access to their
child
ren than they did before. because of technology,
parent
s are able to keep up with their
child
ren academically and personally. dowling adds, ?it is easier than ever to stay connected and on top of our kid?s business. whether it occurs via email to the school or staying abreast to social media issues,
parent
s have access to more information. some of this increased information causes
parent
al anxiety and therefore
parent
s choose this type of
parent
ing approach to prevent that, without asking themselves if the experience, although potentially painful, could produce growth and maturity in their
child
.? there are negative effects of lawnmower
parent
ing, but if you are a lawnmower
parent
, don't be hard on yourself. focus on giving your
child
room to grow, allowing him to complete his homework assignments on his own, talk with his teacher about his grades, and take responsibility for his actions. in the end, you both win. ? what kind of
parent
are you? quiz 1. your
child
has a big assignment due tomorrow, but hasn?t started it yet! what do you do? a. that would never happen, your
child
always excels at his responsibilities in and out of school. b. you ?help? your
child
with the assignment. you may do the entire assignment, just to be on the safe side. c. you discuss the assignment and the implications of not completing it with your
child
. ultimately it is his choice, but you?ll be there for emotional support either way. d. you support your
child
doing as much of the assignment as he can before getting a good night?s rest. 2. it is a new school year, and the
parent
teacher association is getting started. what do you do? a. you don?t have time to volunteer for everything, but will have a direct line of communication regarding all information. b. you are the school?s top volunteer, but not out of the kindness of your heart. you want to have an ?in? with teachers and administration, just in case. c. you may volunteer for one or two ?light-duty? events or committees. you want to be involved, but not spend too much time away from the kids. d. you and your
child
volunteer together for community outreach and humanitarian projects. 3. report cards came out today. what are you expecting? a. nothing less than the straight-a principal?s list. b. they should be pretty great. you?ve sent lots of teacher goodies and have negotiated well. c. whatever they are, you and your
child
will review the grades together and he will feel loved no matter what the report says. d. after all of the hands-on activities you and your
child
have done together, the report card should reflect a deep understanding. 4. your
child
is moving to a new environment and is going to make new friends. how do you handle it? a. you keep your friends close and your competition closer. you will be fine with whomever your
child
wants to befriend, but will keep an eye on their successes. b. you?ve done your research and will carefully choose which friendships to promote by selectively planning out-of-school playdates. c. you encourage your
child
to be friends with everyone, and you are there to emotionally coach him through any ups and downs. d. you prefer balance for your
child
. playtime has its place, but so does work, cooperation, and downtime. you?re ok with saying no to too many commitments. if you answered mostly: as: you?re a tiger
parent
. you value your
child
?s success above his emotional climate. bs: you?re a lawnmower
parent
. cs: you?re an elephant
parent
. you are the direct opposite of the tiger
parent
. emotional security and encouragement are the foundation of your
parent
ing. ds: you?re a dolphin
parent
. like a dolphin pod, you encourage playtime, others, and downtime, including self-care. 4 0 b r p a r e n t s . c o m | n o v e m b e r 2 0 1 8
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