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?? w hat do you mean you don?t know
where
your new shoes are? you haven?t even had them for a week!? i screamed as steam simmered out of my ears. did i lose my temper in that moment? yes. did i feel badly about it? a little. i was furious that my daughter had no idea
where
her sneakers were. she went to the store yester
day
with them on, but now she had no idea
where
they were. it is so frustrating to have something you pay money for vanish into thin air. i also discovered they were missing two minutes before we needed to go to school. my behavior was definitely overblown as a reaction to a five year old losing a material item (i know, it?s just stuff!), but i also know that if she does not learn that this is a big deal, how will she ever learn responsibility for her belongings and the value of a dollar? i joked that she would have to earn the money for new shoes. the look i got in return meant it was time to explore the ways to teach her responsibility so that i do not have to experience that stressful scene again. expectations are my expectations too high? dr. donna fargason of family focus & associates explains, ?
children
can misplace things for a lot of reasons. when a child is anxious or distracted, the brain can get a little fuzzy and make it hard to think about
where
items are being set down. when
children
are rushing, they are not paying attention to
where
they place things, and sometimes,
children
misplace things because they are inattentive and might have an attention problem that ends up being long-standing. it?s hard to know when kids are little so it?s worth trying to establish homes for items and instruct
children
to place items in their ?homes.?? some
children
can continue to lose items up to age six. when they enter elementary school, they begin to take on more responsibility and understand consequences for their actions. set rules about which items you will replace, how many times you will replace them, and any sacrifices they will have to make such as doing chores to ?earn? things or giving up certain privileges like screen time. some kids may be naturally organized, but for the most part, it is up to us to teach them how to keep track of their things and to realize the importance of responsibility. pr actical solutions here are some practical ways to help
children
keep better track of their belongings. set reminders based on their schedule. talk to your
children
about their schedules and point out important actions to take throughout the
day
, such as putting their lunchboxes back into their backpacks after their lunch period, putting their clothes in their backpacks after a swim lesson, and keeping track of their water bottles throughout the
day
. ask them to double check that they have all their belongings before they leave school at the end of the
day
. forming these habits based on a consistent routine can be very effective and used in many other situations down the road. label everything. although it is a time investment up front, labeling your
children
?s belongings provides an insurance policy in case they do forget or misplace something. simply use a permanent marker or purchase some labels online. make a checklist. work with your
children
to write a list of their key belongings?such as a lunchbox, sweatshirt, homework folder?that they need to make sure they have before they leave the house in the morning and before they come home at the end of the
day
. review this list with them until it is ingrained in their memory. prompt them with specific questions. be proactive by asking them questions based on the checklist you created. ?do you have your homework folder and lunchbox for the
day
? don?t forget to put them in your backpack when you are not using them.? eventually, they will hear your questions enough that they will come up with them on their own. lessons for a lifetime my daughter losing her new sneakers prompted some important lessons that she can carry with her for a lifetime.
where
are your shoes? get your kids to stop losing their stuff without losing your mind by sandi schwartz 6 6 b r p a r e n t s . c o m | a u g u s t 2 0 1 8
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