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Fall Pink and Blue 2017
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belly laughs
pregnancy
sayings 1. it?s totally worth it! when people congratulate me, i like to ask, ?for what?? and then watch them freak out. 2. pee
on a stick peeing on a stick and preserving that stick is the start of the many disgusting things you will do as a mother. 3. no periods? sign me up! when i found out i was pregnant, i was overcome with pure happiness. no periods for nine months, that?s reason to celebrate. 4. birth video ?e birth video they show in a birthing class can make a quentin tarantino film look like a disney movie. 5. pee to pee, or not to pee, that is never the question. pee. 6. pregnancy is wonderful! nausea, bloating, frequent urination, pelvic pain, insomnia, acne, fatigue, facial hair, bleeding gums, back aches... yes, pregnancy is wonderful. 7. fat or pregnant? i am at that stage in my pregnancy where people are not sure whether to congratulate me or buy me a gym membership. 8. the first sonogram pictures ?e first sonogram pic is like a tourist photo of the st. louis cathedral in jackson square, everyone has one and it looks the same. 9. i always have an excuse ?pregnancy brain? is my excuse for everything i forget to do. 10. my weight gain limit i know my baby
is going to be an overachiever because i reached my healthy gain limit in the first trimester. 11. cheating time pregnancy is nine months of cheat days. bring on the cupcakes! 12. when you don?t have enough money a baby registry is a chance to get your family and friends to buy you the things you cannot afford. 13. the last celebration a baby shower is the last time the world will celebrate you. 14. what fruit does your baby look like? ?e ?what fruit does your baby look like this week? is both cute and creepy. 15. exercising while pregnant exercising while pregnant is like eating kale on your cheat day. 16. breathing and stretching prenatal yoga focuses on breathing and stretching. so does napping. 17. a birth plan a birth plan is like having a baby monitor in a studio apartment. it?s useless. 17 pregnancy is hard and having a sense of humor during that time is harder. but sometimes that?s all you have when you need to get through those long days. as a sassy new mom, i have a slightly different take on things women experience during pregnancy. can you relate to any of these? by meghna malpani that every woman (and man) can relate to funny 44 pink ?? blue | fall 2017
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