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1017 OCTOBER
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by susan cedotal have you been in a
carpool
line
lately? it?s like the perfect storm?road rage meets parental duties. ?is perfect storm has caused my friend leigh-anne to state, ?
carpool
is too cutthroat for me!? and she has a good point.
carpool
line
is intense. on any given monday through friday, you can find the following types of
carpool
parents. ?e newbie. you have a kindergartner or your child has switched from a bus rider last year. you are just trying to fall in
line
without getting the death stare from the fifth grade moms! it?s hard being you right now, but just give it a few months. before you know it, you?ll be confident in your
carpool
skills. by october, you, too, can issue a death stare! ?e late for work parent. you?ve got 16 ounces of perfectly brewed coffee in one hand and are tapping the steering wheel like a metronome with the other one. you?re hoping they?ll implement in every issue / t h e l a s t w o r d
carpool
is too cutthroat for me! a tuck-and-roll policy so you don?t actually have to stop the vehicle to unload your crew. didn?t p.e. get cut short this year? ?is could add in some extra cardio for the students. you jot a quick note to self to email the pta president about your idea before you scurry to your 9 a.m. meeting. ?e yoga mom. you?ve got your workout gear on and your hair pulled up proudly in a top knot. you?ve probably got five other kids who aren?t old enough to go to school yet. your work out actually consists of just chasing your toddlers around for the rest of the day. you?re pretty sure you burn extra calories just for wearing spandex.
carpool
line
is relaxing compared to the rest of your day! ?e
rule
enforcer. if you?re the
rule
enforcer, you have no time for people who don?t stay in
line
or follow the correct procedure. if they?d let you, you?d report the parents who don?t stick to the
rule
s because after all fair is fair! my friend aimee was stopped by a
rule
enforcer recently. she had to pick up her children early from school. as she was trying to move past the
carpool
line
, a
rule
enforcer rolled down her window and said, ?no cuts! no buts! no alligator guts!? while you can only get the ?alligator guts? comment in the state of louisiana,
rule
enforcers are a critical part of
carpool
line
s everywhere. ?e first in
line
. who cares that school doesn?t let out for another hour and a half. in the words of ricky bobby, ?if you?re not first, you?re last!? you?ve got time to read a book, surf the web, or chat with your bff who is also in
carpool
line
. just don?t let the
rule
enforcer see you. she?ll remind you that
rule
8.1b of the
carpool
handbook does not allow cell phone use in
carpool
line
! ?e last in
line
. you?re frantically rushing from work to pick up your children. you?ve gotten pretty familiar with the school staff because on more than one occasion you?ve had to park and do the walk of shame to pick up your children from the office. my sister, mary, actually convinced her children that anyone can be first in
carpool
line
, but only the coolest moms can be the very last ones to get their kids. after all, the more time you spend at school, the smarter you are. my sister was also the best present giver at the school. teachers can forgive a lot when they get a spa gift card for all major holidays. so, no matter what type of
carpool
parent you are, please be kind to others. we are all just trying to get our kids safely to and from school. more importantly, your kids are watching your behavior. and if all else fails, you can be like my friend leigh-anne and me. just say no to
carpool
line
. let your kids sweat it out on the bus! ? o c t o b e r 2 0 1 7 | b r p a r e n t s . c o m 9 1
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