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tools ?ere are many tools
parents
can use to communicate better and co-parent more efficiently, all while taking the burden off of the
child
. shared calendars such as google calendar can let you edit and add events that both parties can see in real time, that way everyone is kept in the loop. some
parents
have found that having a designated ?parent backpack ? is the best way to tackle the shuffling back and forth between two homes and
school
. ?is is a great way to transport items and paperwork while keeping your
child
out of the middle. if you use this method, make sure that you are both on board with this idea and agree to check it daily. for the more tech savvy, there are apps out there that are built specifically for co-parenting. a few were even created by divorced
parents
seeking a better way to organize and communicate. our family wizard provides visitation and custody schedules, calendars, and co-parenting tools, including links to counseling and legal services. 2houses offers a calendar for custody and events, a photo album, a journal for notes and important reminders, and even an expense component to manage
child
-related expenses. with
school
, sports, tests, projects, and social engagements, the
school
year is already pretty chaotic. do what you can to make it as easy for your
child
as possible. leslie todd reminds us to handle the hard stuff and let kids be kids. ?don?t distract them from owning their own
child
hood, enjoying their friendships and activities, and celebrating their own achievements.
child
ren growing up in two (or more) households need to be respected as individuals and have the right to have relationships with all their relatives, no matter how different those relationships might look. ?e more adults who love and support the
child
ren in this way, the better.? ? of course, do not discuss
child
support issues with your
child
. if you find yourself without the means to provide the newest gadgets or best clothes, don?t put blame on the other parent. your
child
should not be weighed down with your relationship and financial woes. attendance attendance is important?not only for the
child
, but for both
parents
, too. whether it is a parent/teacher conference,
school
function, or sporting event, having both
parents
there will boost the
child
?s confidence and lessen any anxiety associated with the event.
child
ren are already dealing with a split family and all the other changes that come with divorce, so give them confidence in your support by both being present. focus keep your focus on what?s important here?your
child
. avoid playing games because of resentment or competition. ?is will only hurt the
child
. danielle points out that the relationship between
parents
makes a big difference in being successful. ?i think a great indicator is how much the
parents
are willing to just focus on the same goal?the kids,? danielle says. ?it?s all about them, right? you divorced each other. you did not divorce parenting your kids. you need to work together.? leslie todd, a licensed clinical social worker, agrees that keeping the
child
?s happiness and comfort at the top of your list is the best idea. ?keep the focus on the
child
?s development, not on competitive parenting. ?e
school
experience belongs to the
child
, not the
parents
.? she also says that disputes can best be avoided by focusing on the
child
and their needs, not competing to be the best or favorite parent. ?in my work with high-conflict divorced
parents
, this is the main problem. ?e
child
?s needs are really secondary to the
parents
? conflict in such cases.
school
s and teachers are made miserable by those competitive
parents
, too.? a u g u s t 2 0 1 7 | b r p a r e n t s . c o m 4 9
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