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adult until my wife got
home
. a lot of my friends were my co-workers. ?is was before facebook, and i lost a lot of friends just because i lost track of them.? his response is one that is rarely considered for men. ?e isolation of stay-at-
home
parenting can become consuming no matter the gender. but jeff is quick to respond, putting to rest any hint of wistfulness for another path. ?yeah, but i feel like i know my kids more, the little quirks. ?ey?re not strangers.? ?at knowledge and understanding make the sacrifices worth it.
jeremy
landry, 33, molds his ?staddy? life into a role that fits him. he has three kids; two in school, and one at
home
. in a former life he was policeman with the baton rouge police department. now, he juggles a real estate business alongside his wife and proudly boasts that he?s known as ??e first lady of my subdivision.? it sounds like he?s run- ning a three-ring circus. ?more like seven,? he laughs. if jeff?s experience as a stay-at-
home
parent seems more conventional, then
jeremy
?s is anything but. ?e vanity plate on his suv reads ?man van? and his youtube channel is where he shares his
children
?s shenanigans. he proudly displays his role and is game for life?s twists and turns with his sense of humor. when he considers whether this experience has given him a different perspective on his relationship with his own father,
jeremy
pauses and thoughtfully searches for the right words. it?s obvious
jeremy
cares deeply for his dad. but if time is the currency with which we purchase our relationships, then it is clear that he recognizes what many
children
wish from their parents: more time. ?with my kid, i?m always around. i got to see his first walk. we do everything together.?
jeremy
?s choices have afforded him the most precious commodity for all parents?shared time and experience. how representative these cajun fathers are of the larger population of the stay-at-
home
dads is up for debate. some research argues that the recent rise in stay-at-
home
fathers is a residual function of the 2008 economic collapse?as male breadwinners lost their jobs, more fathers transitioned from professional work to primary care-giving in the
home
. ?at?s not the case for these stay-at-
home
dads. in fact, their experience shares a common sense of ownership over their decision to stay at
home
?a sense of purpose that helps propel them through car seat blowouts and sick toddlers, and professions placed on the backburner. it?s easy to romanticize the role of stay-at-
home
parent, however.
jeremy
tells me that some of his friends ?thought i was just drinking beer and hanging around the house.? ?e reality, however, is that this is hard, but rewarding work. for moms and dads. ? c orporations to cleaning toilets. fine dining to peanut butter and jelly. business trips in italy to wednesday gymnastics. ah, yes, a true rags to riches story. a corporate business consultant to stay at
home
dad, ??e staddy? is my story. ?e three
children
that i have the privilege of spending almost every second of my day with have become the best part of my resume. we have a five, three, and one year old who assist me in testing newton?s third law of motion. as a ?staddy? and somewhat of a clean freak, i have battled maintaining the status of cleanliness that i desire in our
home
. i would run myself ragged following the path of destruction, picking up, wiping down all day, every day . my frustration level was at a nuclear level, and i hated my ?new job.? ?is was not what i had in mind, and it definitely was not healthy for anyone. you know those pivotal moments in life where certain things come into focus, it clicks, and you realize your purpose? my days were full of tasks and checklists, not quality time. ??e house can wait, your
children
won?t? opened my eyes. i finally found the balance of fun and functionality, household duties and wiping booties. i made a purposeful change to spend ?real time? with our
children
. i created a schedule that fit my personality and provided time for cleaning and household responsibilities only when the kiddos were asleep or in mother?s day out (lol), which freed up quality time. i made time for hiking, fishing, tool time, pretending, and even made our own cooking show. i may miss a load of laundry on ?wash wednesday,? but it will still be there the next day. i won?t miss out on the few moments we have with our little tyrants. when was the last time you sat down and actually colored in a coloring book with your kids? when did you last turn off everything electronic and ask your
children
what they wanted to play? i have worn more capes and had more tea parties than all of the super heroes and royalty combined. we are outside, playing all the time. our front yard has been a pirate ship, a baseball diamond, ?target,? the mall, and most importantly, a place where we say, ?remember when we??? ??e house can wait, but your
children
won?t? may not be my first tattoo, but it is most definitely my anthem in everyday life. ?ank you to my hard working, beautiful wife for trusting me to the most important job we have. oh, and the kids are bathed and dinner is ready at 5:30 p.m. ?e house can wait, your
children
won?t by tj morrow june 2017 | brparents.com 65
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