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1216 DECEMBER
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in every issue / t h e l a s t w o r d by joy holden fa la la la la,
christmas
tried to kill me. oh, i know, you probably chuckle at my accusation, but i did feel like
christmas
was after me. one unfortunate holiday event may be common, but three? come on. it all began with a simple decoration retrieval from the
attic
. usually my
husband
handles the
attic
, but i was determined to do it myself (a recurring theme in my life). up the ladder i went. to my dismay, the box of decorations i needed was across the huge chasm in front of me. i called my
husband
and asked how i should approach getting them. from the bottom of the ladder, he instructed me to walk around the gaping space where the pull down ladder normally resides. to prepare myself, i stepped back. between the 2x4?s. into the sheetrock. i plunged through the ceiling, just catching myself with my arms. one leg and half my butt stuck through the ceiling. my
husband
clambered up the ladder and pulled me out of my joy-sized hole. i was crying tears of panic and embarrassment. at just that moment, my three year-old son piped up, ?well, that never happened before.? no joke, kid. mommy definitely had never fallen through the ceiling before. ?ankfully, i just bore a deep scratch on my arm and some serious bruises on my legs, but nothing was broken. and, yes, my
husband
handles the
attic
from now on. you would think that harrowing incident would be my only encounter with the
christmas
grim reaper, but no, it was not. a couple days after the
attic
plunge, i was placing the dangerous decorations all over the tree.
christmas
music was playing, and i was feeling quite jolly. in an unorthodox fashion, i had topped the
christmas
tree with our large golden angel first, which i quickly learned is a foolish choice. amid my lights and ornaments, i jostled the tree a bit, and the golden angel missile dive- bombed my head. ?ings got very dim for a second, and then the pain set in, as did a large welt. i yelped in agony. my
husband
came around the corner with a look of ?again?? on his handsome face. yes, again. we made it to
christmas
day all alive and in smiles! ?e beautiful day brought family, food, and gifts, not to mention great happiness. below the surface, i may have been a tad stressed out and tried to control a few things. apparently, one thing i forgot to control was an intake of fluids. i actually didn?t drink or eat very much all day. around 9 p.m. that night, i passed out in my son?s room and kept drifting in and out. ?is had never happened to me before. my parents came over to watch our boys. my adorable three year old was freaking out because mommy was going to the hospital. my parents and
husband
were at a loss. and, we ended up spending four hours in the er all because of some dehydration. other than the hospital gown inconvenience, i actually enjoyed the quiet midnight where i could read my new princess bride book, as you wish , written by cary elwes. but that?s just between us. i survived my final destination
christmas
, but i still have a couple scars from that disastrous holiday season. ?is series of unfortunate events now provides lots of laughter for our family, and suffice it to say, i learned several important lessons: 1. stay out of the
attic
. 2. angel goes up last. 3. drink lots of water. ? my final dest inat ion
christmas
december 2016 | brparents.com 89
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